As an upstanding citizen concerned with the well-being of others, you want to give people a break, and assume that they have the best intentions. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt: despite the horror stories and general sliminess of their reputation, car salespeople are actually honest and hard-working. They just want to succeed and feed their families. They are collectively the victims of bad luck and a few bad eggs. Like any sales profession, they're guilty of occasional crassness and tact vacations. They may push a little too hard, or suggest products or packages that customers aren't interested in. But, when it comes right down to it, they're good human beings, just like you and me.
I used to espouse such views. That was before I emailed several car dealerships in the hope of using electronic communications to make the process more efficient and less painful than a day-long slog through suburban car-buying hell. I was foolish. I continue to be bombarded by a high volume of emails from 'customer representatives' and 'satisfaction specialists' at these car dealerships, along with (seemingly) their friends and neighbors. In case their subject lines are not catchy enough, these guys go the extra mile and use all capital text, highlighted, to get their point across. I hadn't known that the car salesman curriculum involves a stint of email-marketing class in Nigeria, but, apparently it does. I've included a small excerpt of some of my favorite quotations below.
*Your new car is waiting
*WHEN CAN WE MEET?
*your feedback is appreciated
Landmark dealer still in the market
*appointment Sunday with Waleed
*new month- new deals!
*What will it take?
*Price quote
The content of the messages were all some variation on "Dear Will Gans - My name is (enter shady sounding name). I am a general sales manager at (dealership name). I understand that you stopped by the store (____enter random date in the last week here ___) . I want to thank you for your interest in (____dealership name here ____ ). We have every color available in the (enter model name here) that you want. I can put you into the car of your dreams at an unbeatable price! Please call or stop by when you have a moment."
I realize that you guys all work on commission, so it is not surprising that they are overeager. However, it is a little annoying that 5 different guys send me an email from the same dealership in the hope that they can be the one to rip me off. I'm just glad that I gave most of them my wrong phone number!
Sunday is the day that I take the plunge and go try to get a car from these shysters. Wish me luck.
***** update
Sunday dawned clear and crisp, a beautiful fall day in the mid-Atlantic. In short, an awful day to spend shopping for a car! Rebecca and I ran a bunch of errands and then saved the 'best' for last, ending up at a dealership around 3pm. 3 test drives later, we were ready for the real action to begin. "Mark" showed us over to his desk to "talk over some numbers": He went into his computer and multiplied the price of the car by a very high number, then showed us the workup....The manufacturer prices this car so low already, you understand, and they move so quickly, that there are really no possibilities for a discount of any sort.
This is what we were led to believe, anyway. We immediately balked, and asked for a much lower multiple, something - gasp - closer to the blue book value. "Mark" went away to check some numbers. I think that this actually entailed going for a cup of coffee and a drink, maybe cracking some jokes with his buddies, then playing some video games before coming back to us with the 'new numbers', only a smidgen below the last ones. "There is nothing we can do, you understand, the margins are already so low!" So this process repeated itself. He leaves, he comes back, he leaves, he gets the manager, they come back. After a couple hours, Rebecca and I were getting tired, so we hit the road, carless.
Sigh. Car-buying is such a shady business, and it seems destined to stay that way. Stay tuned for the next sure-to-be-miserable installment.
